Introduction:
This is a book I am beginning to write - feel free to download it and print it from your computer - it is basically the ramblings of an insane film director. It was going to be an article on Catacombs called "Directing Ghosts" but I decided to do this instead. I often get asked for advice or for stories about how I got started; why I do this; what I think of certain films... This little book will probably answer most of those questions. Am I writing this book because I feel I am an authority, or because I feel I am sooo good I should write it? No. I am writing it because I get so much mail every week asking me about things, about my feelings or my memories of certain things. I am also writing this to hopefully help young directors avoid some of the mistakes I have made. Also, I am writing this because I was told that I needed to by my crew and cast after we talked about past films and they heard some of my stories. They said it was very funny stuff. Now you can be the judge. I will be honest, brutally so, in this book. Each month I will upload new chapters and some pics as I find them. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I am writing it. Sometimes it is hard, because I am open and honest. I am not holding back. You will learn many things that people never knew, and many things that I have never told people. I am writing it in this way because I figured if I am going to do it, it should be real - and from the heart. I admit that sometimes my memory doesn't serve me real well on some of these older movies. I tried to block that hell out! But if I write it in here - it is how I remember it - and not all memories are gonna be 100% accurate, but they are how I feel and how I felt - and they are all true to the best of my knowledge. I do talk about people by name - and I do talk about specific things - and I do not mean harm to anyone if they take offense to my honesty, but in order for me to feel right about doing this - I must be truthful, even to myself. Now read on, and if you like what you read, or if you have comments, feel free to write me anytime at Horror25@aol.com.
Chapter One:
Reflections Of Madness
As I sit here, just having finished the actual shooting of my movie "Catacombs," I feel the way I often feel. I am glad it's over in one way - it always feel good to complete the shooting of a project, but I feel bad in other ways - like I really had fun and I enjoyed making the film. It was a pretty stress free shoot really - a few problems, but those were more of a personal nature than a technical one. I always said to be a good director, skip a year of film school and do a year of psychology instead. It helps me every time. When making a movie, you are dealing with a bunch of people - even small films like these. Each person brings something into a project, a different personality, a different vibe. Some people are an asset all the time - some are an asset in some ways, but a pain in others. The thing is, nobody in a group this big is gonna be happy all the time. Someone is bound to have a bad day and lose it. It is a director's job to make sure they keep focused and stay on the ball - this is where the psychology training comes into play. You have to be able to calm the actor or the crew member, talk with them - you have to find the root of the problem and fix it in a matter of minutes before their problem starts to rub off and bring others down.
This movie has posed it's own share of exciting memories anyway. It is an old warehouse, been here for many, many years. There are rumors about it. There are stories about people being shot here during prohibition. Others about people falling down the elevator shaft. Some of these are true - you can actually find articles in newspapers about them - others are made up by the weird people who have worked here year after year while the haunted house is open. I will say that some things happened that we couldn't explain, and that is good. It kept us all on our toes and provided a good atmosphere to shoot in. Jen and Jolene were scared of the place at first, but I have actually seen them transform. They now actually HUNT the ghosts, looking and waiting for them. I had hoped that this would help them, and it has. I always say "face your fears and conquer them." It worked. But hell, I'd better step back a second and tell you a bit about these two: Jen and Jolene. Both bring so much to the company.
I met Jen while she worked at Hollywood Video with Phil - also a great actor and all around good guy. She and Phil were bitching at each other across the store and Phil proceeded to tell me she was being a mega-bitch that night - he figured it was maybe "that time" or something - but one thing was for sure - these two had chemistry. I asked them both to be in a film - they looked at me like I was crazy - but I insisted they go see my web site and that I would call them soon. I did and they started with me on Zombie Bloodbath 3. Jen was a bit scared at first. The camera loved her. She has that quality that films scream for. She could be a girl-next-door pretty or a seducing-you-at-midnight sexy. Much like Elisabeth Shue. And more than that, she could actually act, when she decided not to look at the camera. After the first weekend, she got used to the camera though, and she has been growing ever since. A talented girl with a good head on her shoulders and lots of ideas. We are lucky to have her.
I met Jolene while doing script readings for Shivers. I had actually cast the part that went to her to another actress, but the girl was damned lame. She was never on time (and this was just rehearsal) and she seriously had a lack of talent. I asked Jolene (who came to a reading with Ruth Adams - now Dyer) if she would like to try it and she agreed. She had the right look for it. Jolene's eyes immediately stuck in my head. Her eyes are so expressive, they can burn straight into you if you let em. I loved that quality and was very happy to find out that she was a natural at acting. Not only that, but Jo is a great person. Complex as hell - she always gives me a roller coaster ride - a challenge - and I like that. She dares me to understand her. And I do my best to try. One time I misread her entirely though, and she let me know! I had thought she wanted no part in "Biker Babes From Beyond The Grave" so I set out about finding someone for that part - until I found out she was already planning to do the film! She was my first choice for the part - and I was glad that I convinced Rod Will and Byron Nicodemus to allow her to do it. Even though it has been a hell time for her, she is still doing it - and that proves her loyalty to my cause. The more I get to know Jo, the more I appreciate who she is - and the more I see how similar our goals are. I am beginning to communicate with her on set by just a look, or a motion - and that is a good thing. We read each other well - and as a director, I really admire that. Her loyalty and belief in my cause and my dreams is rewarding and inspiring. I value her life more than she knows.
SO now you know a bit about them, and who they are to me. But there are others that are also as important. No matter who you are or what you are doing - you must surround yourself with good people - and I am lucky that I found many now who truly understand what I am doing.
Let me take this time to tell you how I feel that this is almost like my family and why. You see, to do what I do here, you better be ready to give up almost everything else in your life. When I was looking for jobs, they had to allow me the flexibility to do this. Luckily I found a perfect balance of jobs. I met Dennis Kingsolver who owns the Catacombs and Fear haunted houses in Kansas City, and between that and my jobs doing web and graphic design, I am able to do what I love. Dennis has made me the happiest person in the world. I get to create these huge pieces of art - these sets - this haunted house. I get to be creative all year long and do what I love to do - scare the hell out of people. Horror has consumed everything about me almost. It's my job, it's my hobby, it's my future, it's my dream and my life. And I do not find it sad at all.
I get to do what many people dream about but never actually had the guts to do. I set out to make movies and I am doing that. Small, yes, but they are growing. I have sacrificed to do this. I have lost friends, I have pissed people off, I have made mistakes and I have learned from them. My personal life became pretty much dead. I wake up and first thing I do is read e-mail and answer it, and make calls about the company (Extreme Entertainment) and go to work at Catacombs and then get off and go edit all night - or work on music all night - or write scripts all night - or work on the website - or if it's a weekend, I film. I have been filming for 10 ½ months pretty much without a break. I even filmed while working at the haunted houses while we were open in September and October. That sucked, because we are open every day and I worked every day. No days off. I have not had a vacation in a decade. I have lost girlfriends - broken hearts - pissed off friends and lost family over my dedication to my dream. When you spend 20 hours a day working toward a goal, some people feel like you are blowing them off, or like you have forgotten them. Some people will feel as if you are turning your back on them. I still care about many of these people, but the fact is - I had an agenda. I knew what needed to be done and I set about doing it. I still do this today. I know what needs to be done and it will get done come hell or high water. As a director and as a producer I am also this way. Brian laughs because he says that I am unbendable when it comes to finishing something. He sees it as a strength most of the time. I have a way of knowing what has to be done and what it will take to get us there. Sometimes it seems like I don't care about anything else. This isn't true. I do care. But, I also know what HAS to be done to reach that goal. One time we were shooting on a rainy day and it was lightning and Brian gave me that "Todd you are fucking insane" look and I just looked at him and said, "It will be OK" and it was. I knew it. I felt it. I didn't want anyone zapped… Hell, I love these guys like a family! The bottom line was that we had the people we needed, we had the location and we were behind schedule. It was time to get it done. We had rescheduled already and it was time to be done - I had gotten to a part in editing when I needed to edit the scenes or I could go no further. So, I thought about it, plowed forward and got it done. Looks cool in the films too! But the way I see it, you have to be this dedicated. You have to be strong and you have to forge ahead against all obstacles. You must develop a "tunnel-vision" of sorts. You have to see the end result and grab onto the thing and do whatever it takes to get there. This is one of my strengths. I am strong as hell. I fight always. I love a challenge. I never say die. I refuse to give up. I was told that if I stopped now, I would still not be a quitter and I would have still won. I do not see it that way. I have a goal to make it so all the people who work with me now will not have to do these shitty "day jobs" to pay bills - I want to be able to pay everyone and create entertaining films. I want to rise and make bigger movies and take everyone with me. And I want to do it our way with pride and principal and without selling out to anyone. I want the fans that stand behind me to be proud and the people who work with me to be proud of themselves and of me. I want to make these goals happen. Then I can rest a bit. And make some new goals.
I was told nobody in Kansas City can make movies. I was among the first to ever attempt it here. There was Wade Williams and the Mossmans and one other small group that tried it - but nobody was doing it when I started. Now of course, local filming has increased and many of the area movie makers were from my company at one time or another. Am I bragging? No. Let me tell you, those early movies are so damned bad that they should all be used to tape reruns of Facts Of Life on. I hate them. I loathe them. But many of these guys started with me. We may have disagreed, or maybe they thought the film was gonna be better than it turned out, or maybe they broke equipment or they just didn't do good work. Whatever the reason, they were booted or whatever and went off and got mad and decided I was an asshole. I can live with that. I never wanted to piss people off, but it's bound to happen. Sometimes, I would get people mad at me because I had told them things that never came to pass. For instance, Mike Hellman is a guy I really like. I genuine nice guy. He put up some money for some effects and locations. I was told that he would get that money back by our distributor in LA. Guess what? We never got any money. The distributor went belly-up and we were left with nothing. This caused a few problems with Mike and I because I had promised HIM, based on a promise TO ME, that he would be paid back. This is a simple way that things happen in this business. I know that now. I didn't then. I would get excited about things and tell everyone and then deals would fall apart or never materialize and I would look like a liar or an asshole. It wasn't my fault, but since I told people what I thought were the true facts, they figured I was to blame. Many times, these people actually thought about it and figured that I was actually being honest and was a victim like they were. But it always takes people a while to see the truth when they are mad. Go figure. I learned a good lesson - never tell anyone anything unless it goes through. My partner Brian and I had an argument the other day about this because he thought I didn't tell him everything fast enough. That is why. I wait to see if it is actually gonna happen. Then I tell people. After the deal is real.
I mentioned Brian above so I better introduce him also. Brian was an extra in Zombie Bloodbath playing, big surprise, a zombie. After that, he didn't do another film for a bit, but I was managing a local theater called Englewood and he came in to see a sci-fi flick and talked with me. He seemed very enthusiastic and nice, and before you know it, I called him to come down and help out on the current thing I was doing, "Dead Things." I still recall poor Brian's face as he first came to the set - late by the way, the beginning of a very long trend with him. We were filming a gore scene, the death of the Rico character played by Joseph Rubinstein, a truly gifted stage actor from the area. It was pretty brutal and poor Brian looked like he was in such shock I had to reassure him that everything was OK. We grew closer since then, finally forming a partnership together. Brian is a good human being. Seriously. At times we fight, we argue, we bicker - but in the end, it's like we're brothers in a way and family do have fights - we are only human after all. But we complement each other. Brian is a bit relaxed in his way of doing things, always running late and taking his own time. I worry that if he ever does his own film, he will always be late and the cast and crew will take notice and do the same. I am always eager and full of fire. Brian is the logical one, always worried about safety (we call him stage mom) and always wondering about content and growing as a company. I am more of the creative psycho. I want to get in and do things, and I like to allow improv on the set and I like to push people's buttons. I like to offend certain audiences. It means I am doing the right thing. But Brian and I are also similar in many ways. I feel that he worries I will always want to make zero-budget splatter forever. Not true. I actually have dreams of huge budget splatter. But I also have ideas other than that. I want to make action - science fiction - comedy. There are many films I want to do, and in between each film I do of that type, I'll do a horror flick to keep myself happy. Roger Corman did it this way and if it's good for him, it's fine for me! I feel that Brian strives to be a big contender - and make award winners that he can show off - and I think that would be cool as well, but I really could care less as long as I feel it is artistic and it entertains the TARGET audience. All the awards and critics don't mean shit if the film is a dull, boring, wasted effort.
Brian didn't want me to do Catacombs I know. We are finishing Biker Babes From Beyond The Grave and Zombie Bloodbath 3, and he wants me to edit those - and he wants to finish the final touches on Whispers In The Gloom. I agree, but I also know that we need another film to sell a four picture deal to a distributor and to our foreign reps. I know how it works, and he does too, but he really didn't like it. When he read the script it only seemed to get worse. He didn't like the script. I wrote it with fans of these films in mind. I was making the film to please an audience, as well as to have fun and do something a bit different. The story seemed rather simple and it has it's share of cliches, but we really strived to make it pleasing in many ways. The effects are awesome, the lighting is great, the camera work and acting are incredible and the killer is actually a cool character. The dailies look very nice. The sad thing is that it is probably one of our best looking films ever and Bri just doesn't have any enthusiasm for it. It was also a busy time for him and I do understand that this gore stuff isn't top on his list. But poor Bri did have to be the Catacombs taxi and take everyone home all the time. He also had to pick people up. It pissed me off that people agreed to do a film without transportation and just assumed Brian would do it, but what could I do? The film had to get done. Jolene and I had many talks about this, and we both wondered why Brian just didn't sit this one out if he really felt that unhappy about doing it. And we were both mad that people were just assuming Brian would do it! Now, understand, Brian is - and I plan on him always being - my partner, but if he is that unhappy, he can take a break, a vacation, during a project. That will not mean we aren't partners, it just means he is taking a break. Of course at the end of filming Brian did admit to having some fun and said that it seemed like a good thing in the long run.
Now, I have been told before that some people who I actually won't name (I know I said I would name people - but not this time) that they think Brian is with me until the break comes and then he is gonna ride that wave. I disagree with that. It is not Brian's style. It is not the right thing to do. Brian and I are alike in that way. We don't give a damn what people think - we will do what we feel is morally right. I was told that if he got the chance, he would leave us all and go on to bigger things. Well, I have loyalty and I have turned down other paying gigs to keep doing this - I was even offered to direct a film that would have given me my director's guild card, and pay me a good lump to boot, but I was in production at the time and I refused to up and leave everyone behind. I think Brian is the same way. I think he would stick with us all. I am no saint and I am a pain in the butt to deal with at times, but the bottom line is that Brian and I have a bond that I refuse to believe he would risk destroying. If he values me HALF as much as I value him, he will be loyal till the end. I know he wants to grow, and I do too. I agree with many of his points. I think he has other problems that make him react certain ways, but I feel that he and I will be together for some time. I could be offered a million dollar film and a choice of cast, but without Brian and my crew, I would say no. I hope he would feel the same. I know that Brian does not have a love for Horror like I do, but he does love good films, and he and I are very similar in our tastes many times - and we both like sci-fi quite a lot. Sometimes I think he feels out of the loop. I can understand this. I am a madman at times. A demon bent on finishing something - or so focused I forget to explain where I am coming from. But the bottom line here is athta I care about Brian like a brother I never had and I would do anything for him.
Now, I have been called a control freak, but in all honesty, I'm not. I just have a very clear idea of what I want. I think anyone who writes a script then films it themselves becomes this way. Plus, I do not storyboard anymore. The film is entirely in my head from the first shot to the last. As I write the script, I see it in film format. I know what I wanna do. Plus, sometimes I find it fun to let the location choose how it is shot and laid out. It makes it more adventurous. I am always trying to be organized. I do the schedules, the script breakdown for characters and so forth, and even effects lists and location dates - I try and give everyone paperwork and keep them informed. But it is always a bit hard to get so many people on the same level. Brian is a person who also loves organization. He is good at it. And it drives him batty if he doesn't quite understand why or how I am doing something. I don't blame him really. But with it all inside me, it's easier for me to show people and tell people what I want as we create it together. Then I sit down with all my footage, all the shots I want in the film, and I start to assemble them. It would be real hard to try and tell someone how I want it to look, how fast I want it paced, how many cuts I want, etc. It would be a huge waste of time. So to save time, I simply do it myself. I am not doing this to try and control or shut people out - but simply to get it done fast and the best I can. Brian knows how I feel about him. But what he never really gets is how much I admire the man. How much I talk about him. How much I look to him for advice. He doesn't really understand these things. Brian is my voice of reason, and the only one to get by with telling me "No." He doesn't do it often, but he knows if anyone can get by with stopping me, it's him. Nobody else has that special power to stop the unstoppable. Brian is my best friend - he tries to understand me and does a good job most of the time. He knows me pretty well, and he trusts me. I would rather be shot than betray that trust. Now if only he were a gorehound! I will say that it is really fun to watch him when we show a finished film to people. It has been a long time since he has had one to show, but he sure looks like a proud papa ... and he has that look in his eyes like me. It was all worth it in the end. He is getting ready to do his own film as a director, and I will be the producer this time. I am sure it will be good. I will be right there behind him all the way.
Anyway, that's enough rambling for one chapter, but read on - we're gonna get to the grit here in a bit!
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