Reviews From The Trenches

January 2008

A ton of genre related DVDs have finally come out. Too many to deal with at once, but I’m gonna give you what I think are the best and warn you about a few of the worst.

Food of the Gods 1976
with Marjoe Gortner, Pamela Franklin, Ralph Meeker and Ida Lupino. Produced, written and directed by Bet I Gordon


Saw this one on a double bill with Empire of the Ants, which is just as funny. Some white glop oozing out of the ground causes gigantism in anything that eats it. Football players including Marjoe are hunting on an island when one is stung to death by a giant bug.

Marjoe investigates and finds that a chicken farmer and his wife fed this shit to their chickens( Marjoe battles what appears to be a fake big rooster head on a pole). Rats also got into the stuff and are now attacking in mass hordes. Funny shit as real rear projected rats are shown crawling all over miniature sets. A big white rat seems to be the leader. Rats are shot with obvious blood squibs and a dam is blown up to drown the big rats. Cheap thrills 70's style from the man who invented the rear projected big monster genre. An MGM Midnite Movie.


Manhattan Baby 1982
from Blue Underground starring Christopher Connelly, Martha Taylor and Brigitta Boccoli. Directed bu Lucio Fulci

This one a little tame as Fulci seems a bit restrained on the gore and carnage. A tomb in ml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Egypt is desecrated and a young girl is given a weird charm. He father is struck blind as he enters the tomb and his guide is impaled by spikes in a trap.

They return to New York , where a bunch of supernatural shit and violence occurs. The girl is x-rayed and has a cobra living inside her. Funny, the same thing happened to me last week. I was x-rayed and they found an Anaconda in my pants. This one is Fulci light, but it was the last of his films to be released in America.


Basket Case 2  1990 from Synapse Films.
Starring Kevin Van Hentenryck, Annie Ross, and Jason Evers. Directed by Frank Henenlotter


The first Basket Case ran midnites at the Waverly Theater in NYC for over two years. This film was released nine years later and picks right up where the other one left off. Duane and Belial are rescued from the hospital by Granny Ruth, who hides out freaks in her secluded mansion. A nosy reporter ferrets them out and the family of freaks must stand together and fight. Belial finds a female version of himself and has wet, funky monster sex. This has all the crazy violence that made the first one so much fun. Great creature effects and a real twisted ending make this one worth a look. Extras include and interview with David Emge( the man in the moon mask) and a Beyond the Wicker featurette.


Phantom from 10,000 Leagues and Beast with 1,000,000 Eyes 1956 & 1955
from MGM Midnite Movies


Two early AIP films .Phantom has long been in the public domain as evidenced by all the shitty looking prints floating around. This one is clear, widescreen and the monster is pretty cool. Kent Taylor and Cathy Downs star. Radiation has created an undersea monster that kills with it’s touch. It guards a pile of uranium on the bottom of the sea that is to used as a weapon. Quite a few plot twists and turns. Phantom was on the bottom half of a double bill with Corman’s The Day the World Ended. Released by The American Releasing Corporation( ARC) , which became American International Pictures soon after.

Beast was about an alien presence that controls lower life forms and terrorizes a family at a desert ranch. This one of those “ you only see the monster in the last few minutes film”. Dated and slow moving, but one of the first AIP monster movies. The creature( a hand puppet) was created by Paul Blaisdell, who created most of the impressive AIP monsters.


Return of Dracula and The Vampire 1957 & 1958
from MGM’a Midnite Movies


Both of these are widescreen and very cool. Return stars Francis Lederer as Count Dracula who comes to America by killing a man on a train and stealing his identity. He come to California and moves in with a family who were awaiting a cousin from the old country. He sets up his coffin in an abandon mine and , of course, fixates on a girl he wants for his own. Slow moving today, but still interesting. As a female vampire is staked out, we get real red blood for a couple of seconds. Obviously done because the full color Horror of Dracula was out around the same time.

The Vampire with John Beal, is the nastier of the two films. Beal is a small town doctor who accidently takes some pills that turn him into a blood sucking killer. Anyone he bites not only dies , but their body decomposes more rapidly than normal. A chilling scene is when one of the victims is exhumed and the body has completely decomposed. A great supporting cast with Kenneth Toby, Paul Brinegar, Coleen Gray and Dabs Greer. Both films were directed by Paul Landres. Check out the sign at the doctor’s office, it’s in both films. A cool little time capsule of 50's horror films.


Planet Terror 2007
Directed by Robert Rodriguez with Rose Megowan, Freddie Rodriguez, Michael Biehn, Jeff Fahey, Josh Brolin and Bruce Willis.

The more “watchable” of the two features is an over the top zombie romp with enough gore to fill Lake George. The footage has been cleaned up a tad and has a couple of added scenes, but they still pull the missing reel shit. A high point has the obnoxious QT attempting to rape Rosie ,only to have his package fall off. Too bad life won’t imitate art. This is a two disc set with the second disc loaded with special features. I won’t buy Deathproof as I hate being talked into a coma. Funny how this lost about 60 mil at the box office, so now they are scrambling to make it up with the DVD sales.

I had to go to about four places before I found a copy of this. Tons of Deathproof, but this one was sold out quickly which speaks volumes.


From Beyond 1986
from MGM Starring Jeffery Combs, Barbra Crampton and Ken Foree Directed by Stuart Gordon


Finally , the ultimate uncut version that we have heard of for years. This was one of the last great films to play at some of my favorite Grindhouses.

Rumors swirled around for years as to how much was cut out of this film. Sort of a follow up to Reanimator( which had hardly any theatrical release) Combs plays his usually demented over the top performance as Crawford Tillingast. The plot is that Crawford’s mentor, Dr Pretorious, created the “Resonator” a machine that stimulates the pituitary gland and arouses deviant behavior . The good doctor’s head is twisted off by one of the creatures that come through the resonator. Crawford is institutionalized as he is accused of the doctor’s murder.

A psychiatrist( Crampton) takes Crawford back to the scene of the crime and the real fun begins. The film has never looked better and two key gore scenes are restored. If you by one disc this month, I highly recommend this film.


The Classic Si-Fi Ultimate Collection Vol. # 2 from Universal
Dr. Cyclops, The Land Unknown, Deadly Mantis, Cult of the Cobra and the Leech Woman


This was a “Best Buys Exclusive” so you have to get it there. Great deal for $20. Some of this stuff may be dated to today’s viewer, but yours truly was weened on this stuff. I remember buying Deadly Mantis on an 8mm film along with Dr. Cyclops. The other films I saw at various “kiddee matinees” while growing up. The best ones here are Land Unknown and Dr Cyclops. A cool trip down memory lane for us overaged horror fanatics.


Alligator 1980
by Lion’s Gate with Robert Forster, Robin Riker, Henry Silva, Jack Carter, Sydney Lassick, Dean Jagger, and Michael Gazzo. Written by John Sayles and directed by Louis Teague


Finally the best “killer ‘gator” film is finally available. Forget all the CG crap like Primevil and Lake Flacid, this is a nasty 30 foot alligator with a ravenous appetite for anything that moves. A little gator is flushed down the toilet and feeds off the drug laden carcasses of dogs used in a drug/hormone experiment. This cause the gator to grow to about 30 feet and gives it an insatiable appetite. When the chewed off arm of a missing sewer worker( Ed Norton, an “in” joke) is found, detective Forster investigates with a rookie patrolman. The patrolman is eaten and no one believes Forster until a nosy tabloid reporter is eaten and inadvertently films his own demise.

The gator leaves the sewer and reeks havoc on the city. Plenty of blood and gore. A high point is when the gator attacks a wedding reception and bloody carnage ensues. THE best “reptile on a rampage “ film ever!!. Just look at the cast.


Cannibals 1980
by Blue Underground Starring Al Cliver and Sabrina Siani Directed by Jess Franco


Did you ever see a gore film that was so fuckin’ awful that you were laughing your ass off? Check this one out. A ship is in search of something and has Cliver , his wife and daughter on board. Cannibals attack the ship and eat Cliver’s wife. The ship is wrecked(off camera) and the little girl is rescued and become the “White Goddess”. Cliver’s arm( real fake) is chopped off. He escapes and is picked up by people in a jeep. Let’s see, it took a boat to get there, but you could easily drive to cannibal land too.

Anyway Cliver wants his daughter back , so he mounts an expedition of thrill seeking assholes. His daughter is now grow and has to mate with the Chief’s son. In one of the most boring sex scenes ever committed to film, she just lies there , motionless, while the guy pounds away, proving she is definitely a white woman.

The group again drives to cannibal land. The Chief has died but as he is dying, the camera seems fixated on his nose hairs. The new Chief wants to wipe out the intruding white invaders. Trust me, these people aren’t worth the effort it would take to eat them and poop them out. After a few lame attacks and even lamer chow downs, Cliver is reunited with his daughter.

This is one of those so bad it’s funny films. The “cannibals” are Europeans in shitty face paint with disco era haircuts. In some scenes you can spot boxer shorts under loin cloths. The gore effects are laughable and it looks like medical footage was inserted at times. Only in the 80's . Previously available from Transworld Video under a different title. Extras include a Franco interview.

Two more shitty “zombie” movie to avoid


Night of the Living Dead 3D from Lion’s Gate.

This was heavily hyped in a couple of genre magazines last year, then nothing was heard about it. I picked it up at Cinema Wasteland. After I watched it, I felt like I was ass raped. Stealing from the original and Return of the Living Dead, this film sucks on every level.

Sid Haig is featured on the box, but is in the film for about 15 minutes. It seem he started this zombie plague because he inherited a funeral pallor from his dad, but he wasn’t into cremating people. He just warehoused the bodies with some toxic medical waste. Clever, huh? There is some minor gore and nudity. The “Coopers” now own the farm house and are pot farmers, so they can’t call the cops. I fell asleep three times trying to watch this. You get four pair of “3D” glasses with this. Whoopee!! A complete insult to the original.


28 Weeks Later 2007

How about 28 years later? The first one sucked and this is worse. The US Army is now repopulating the area. A dad tells his kids that mom was killed by the infected. The reality was that he chickened out and left her. The kids go into the forbidden zone and find mom alive, but a carrier of the virus. She is taken back because she might hold the cure. The Army, however, wants her dead. Before they can do that, dad wants to mend fences and sneaks in to her room. They kiss, swapping infected spit, and the whole fucking mess starts all over again. I hate these fuckin movies. They aren’t zombie movies, they are a completely different genre, plague victims or something. As we are nearing the 40th anniversary of NOTLD, expect a lot more of this crap.

                       

A MUST SEE -30 Days Of Night


I said that after”Halloween” it would really take something “special “ to get me to fork over the $10.50 admission price. 30 Days of Night did it. A lot of people, who’s opinion I respect, told me that this was a grim, bleak, violent , “Horror” movie. They were right. Once again , I was the only person at the early show. Shit , if I could plan this, I’d bring in my George Foreman grill and a case of Coronas.

This film will creep you out from start to finish. A ship of vampires docks outside if a town in Alaska that will be in the dark for 30 days. A familiar paves the way by destroying all communication and means of escape. As darkness falls, the vampires decimate the town , the play cat & mouse with the survivors. This is one brutal movie and how it got an “R” rating is beyond my comprehension. It probably won’t be in the theaters when you read this, so grab the DVD when it comes out.

Primevil 2007

 

I don’t know why I mark out for giant reptile films, but after watching them , I always walk away like I’ve been ass raped. Since Alligator, no ones ever come up with a good one and this is no exception.

Advertised as the “most prolific serial killer of all times, over 300 victims”. Yes it was a croc and the ad campaign was a croc of shit. “ Gustave” as the natives affectionately call him , is a 30 foot crocodile with a taste for ‘long pig” . That’s what the South seas cannibal tribes used to call us. Gustave chows down on a lady forensic scientist who was investigating mass killings by the government. Seeing what appears to be a mass grave, she rams a shovel into it, hitting a sleeping Gustave in the snout. Understandably perturbed at this intrusion, Gus has the lady for dinner.

Now the news media wants a story, so they send a crew. Now the story deteriorates into a political statement about the plight of Africans. The local warlord has named himself “ Little Gustave” and kills his rivals off with the same vigor as Big Gus. One of the camera men films Little Gus wiping out a family if his detractors. Someone has ratted out the crew to Little Gus, who reacts in a violent way.

One of his thugs tries to get the film and is about to rape the lady who has it. Big Gus makes a fast CG appearance , destroying the camp and eating the bad guy. Here’s my beef. A real croc can out run a race horse on dry land, that’s a fact. This croc moves like Wiley Coyote on crystal meth. They don’t leap , jump, or sing and dance. At the climatic finish , after much violence directed at helpless Africans, Big Gus has Little Gus for dinner.

This whole film went the route of Blood Diamonds and Lord of War, showcasing the plight of the “poor” Africans. Gustave got his taste for human flesh by eating all the bodies of mass killing that were dumped into the river. Face facts: these people have been butchering each other for years. One black camera man comes up with the most politically incorrect statement of the movie. Lost in the jungle , he mutters” maybe slavery was good, it beats the hell out of living here.” So here we had a “horror “ film masquerading as a political statement. At the end ,we are told that Gustave is still at large. Can you spell direct to DVD sequel?


Dead Silence 2007

 

by the director and writer of Saw.

 

Should have fuckin’ known this would suck. Actually were any of the saw films other than the first one any good? In retrospect not really. 2 & 3 were just showcases for SPFX and both main characters were killed off in 3 , but a # 4 is in the works.

Silence has one murder to start , then drags out to a painfully protracted finish. It was like having sex with an ugly woman, you just wanted to get it over with. The plot is something about a woman and her dummy who met a bad end. If the woman appears and you scream, your mouth is ripped open to look like Paris Hilton’s after a night of partying. Disc makes a nice coaster. Here’s some real grindhouse stuff that is actually worth watching.

 

 

Northville Cemetery Massacre 1976

 

Written Produced and Directed by Thomas Dyke & William Dear. Starring the Scorpions Motorcycle Club of Detroit DVD by VCI Entertainment 2006

Remember back before the internet, when you had to rely on word of mouth to find a cool , obscure film? Probably not, but in the early days of VHS there were a lot of small, obscure companies that put out a lot of genre stuff. How did you find them? Easier said than done. You had to scour the mom & pop video stores, like a prospector panning for gold.

Paragon Video was a company that had a lot of obscure, gory horror films. Some of these films you may have  never heard of. Nightbeast, Boardinghouse, Dr. Butcher M.D., the Tombs of the Blind Dead, and The Northville Cemetery Massacre were all in Paragon’s catalog.

Because ‘cemetery” and “massacre “ were in the title, a lot of us assumed it was a horror film. Wow, were we wrong. The Northville Cemetery Massacre is a kick ass biker film that has become an international motorcycle cult film. In this film the bikers are cast against type as good guys and the law are a bunch of dicks. Like I’m telling you something that you don’t already know.

  A hitchhiker is on the road when he sees a pack of bikers in the distance. He whips out a sign that say “grass” . One of the pack stops and picks him up. Prior to this ,the gang helped change a tire for an old couple. The hitchhiker is connected to someone in the club. Chris, the hitchhiker, goes on a run with the club, then sneaks off to an old barn with his girlfriend.

Cops arrive to break up the run. Two cops corner Chris and the girl, Lynn in the barn. Chris is knocked out and one of the cops rapes Lynn. She is threatened into silence by the cop. Chris wakes up to find that his girl is gone. The cop has taken her to the hospital. Then, to cover his ass, he goes to  Lynn’s father and tell him that she was raped by the bike club.

 The cop swears the father to secrecy and the two hatch a plan to get revenge on the bikers. They enlist a hunter, Armstrong. with a high powered rifle. The cop recruits him with the same story of the savage rape. Back at the club house, two of the boys go out back to water the lilies. They are cut down with a high powered rifle. Thinking a rival club is responsible, the leader calls for a sit down.

  The two clubs meet at an abandon drive in. As the two club leaders talk, the shooter strikes again This time members of both clubs are picked off by the shooter. They decide action must be taken, but the cop has planted a seed among the other cops and the bikers are constantly hassled and searched at every opportunity. The rouge cop sadistically guns down a biker who has broke down in a ditch. The shootings are in the slo mo Peckinpaw style, lots of bloody squib bursts.

 The boys are still not sure who is behind the killings. But they decide to even things a bit. They take a cruise out to an arms dealer. Some great shots of some cool, tricked out bikes on the road. The dealer lives in an underground bunker that could withstand “ a 17,000 megaton blast at ground zero”. They boy pick out a various assortment of shotguns, rifles, pistols, etc. The dealer thoughtfully throws in some hand grenades . He tells them if they had called in advance, he coulda scored them some claymores and a bazooka. Anybody have this guys #?

  Chris gets into the hospital and Lynn tells him what really happened. Chris and  Lynn run off to warn the club. The club is heading to the cemetery to bury their dead. They are stopped and searched, but nothing is found. After the coffins are unloaded, the mayhem begins. A helicopter, with the cop, Dad and Armstrong attacks , but the club had put the weapons  in the coffins. The bikers fire back, but are shot to bloody pieces. Head shots, chests bursting, this was some heavy duty shit back in the day. These guys had to be the worst shots in the history of western civilization. They fake the shooters out by playing dead. The helicopter lands and the three assholes get out to check their kills. Another gunfight breaks out and even the biker’s women are getting cut down. Finally someone tosses a grenade into the ‘copter, blowing it and the pilot into a bloody mess. Chris get badly wounded, and everyone is dead. Unfortunately this has one of your 70's downbeat ending, as the guy you wanted to see die the most is still standing as the credits roll. As unsatisfying as it turns out, up until this point the film is crammed with bloody violence.

  This is one of the few films of the time in which the bikers were the “good guys”. Since the Wild One, most biker films have portrayed the biker in a negative light. Remember that the Hells Angels wanted to sue Roger Corman over the Wild Angels for defamation of character? They were serious. This film portrays them as the pretty much were back then, free spirits out enjoying life.

   This is one of those films that all but disappeared when Paragon folded up. It was never reissued on one of those “budget” tapes like Star Classics or Video Treasures. I never thought that I would see this film again. The original box had a fat ,redneck cop holding a shotgun and I think the tagline was “ the day law and order went berserk” . One of the best and most violent of the biker film genre.

 A little footnote , Northville Cemetery Massacre has striking similarities to 1971's The Hunting Party. In that film , a band of outlaws are stalked and killed by the “good guys” with high powered rifles. The Hunting Party, for some reason, disappeared after being released. It was never out on VHS and just recently came out on DVD. Some said the reason was that stars Gene Hackman and Candice Bergen blocked it’s release . Hackman played the same character, a sadistic killer, in The Quick and the Dead and Unforgiven. Bergen was in an other western blood bath, Soldier Blue, so I seriously doubt that they had anything to do with the film not being released on video.

 

Chainsaw Sally 2007

 

a Redfield Arts/ Planet X Production Written and Directed by Jimmy O Starring April Monique Burril Mark Redfield, Alec Joseph, Gunnar Hansen as Daddy and H.G> Lewis as Mr. Gordon DVD by Shock O Rama

I had met director Jimmy O at the Genghis Con Convention in Pittsburg last September. Aside from being a real cool guy, Jimmy is a fellow wrestling afficionado, so we bonded well. Jimmy had sent me a screener of Sally before it was given to Shock O Rama for general release. I was really impressed with the quality of this film. It didn’t play out as your “typical” low budget Indy film. It had that “real” film feel to it.

 A lot of people make a bold claim that certain films capture that grindhouse ambiance. This one actually does capture it. With it’s roots planted in the grindhouse subculture, Sally kicks ass big time. By day Sally is a meek librarian. When pissed off, she becomes a chainsaw slinging avenger. .

  We first see Sally’s demented side when she cleaves a blonde from throat to crotch for having a book out that’s way overdue. Sally and her brother, Ruby , were traumatized as children when some escaped mental patients broke into their home. They killed Daddy ( Gunnar Hansen) and raped and killed Mom. Daddy lived long enough to dice up the threesome with a chainsaw.

  The two kids moved out of that farmhouse and into a ramshackle house in the woods. The property that the farmhouse is on is owned by a crusty looking drifter, Steve Kellerman. Steve has been offered big bucks for the place by a crooked realtor and an equally crooked mayor. A hot blonde, Cynthia, is the bait the realtor uses to get Steve to sell. What Steve doesn’t know is that Sally and her brother, who is usually in drag, will kill to protect that farmhouse.

  Sally will kill pretty much anyone who pisses her off. After a guy disses a girl in a bar, Sally seduces him and cuts off his wazoo with a straight razor. This scene is really twisted on many levels. If you think this is off the hook, wait until you see what she does to the ‘ice cream girl”. Steve comes to the library for information. Sally is a little smitten with him. Steve takes her for ice cream and they get into a heated discussion about whether Batman and Robin are gay. Sally returns home to a pissed off bother who is hacking his knife into the wall. Sally tells him to stop and he sticks his tongue out at her. Sally tells him that “ she will pull out his tongue and feed it to the dog”. Ruby retorts “ we don’t have a dog, we ate it”.

  Sally and Ruby have the mayor tied up and wearing a luchador mask. They tell him that it’s time for The Tool Box Murders, the home game. Then they proceed to slice and dice. Sally finds out that Steve owns the land. She also finds out that he has been slipping the tubesteak to Cynthia. Sally decides to wrap this thing up. She lures Cynthia to the old farmhouse , then she give her the saw treatment. The realtor and Steve are also tricked into coming to the house. The realtor is nailed to the floor and, in a really twisted turn of events, Steve is framed for all the murders.

  Chainsaw Sally is a fresh , new horror character. April Monique Burril is outstanding as Sally. She has this really demented look in her eyes and is deadly serious and sadistic when dispatching her victims. There are some really twisted death scenes and gore fans will find Sally not lacking in the sauce department. H.G Lewis has a cameo as Mr Gordon, the helpful hardware store owner, who supplies the implements of mass dismemberment. This is a fun film, it is well shot, the characters are interesting and it actually gives me hope for the future of horror. A true grindhouse film, made by a grindhouse film fan. Hopefully there will be a Sally 2.

SHOCK-O-RAMA

Finally coming to a video store near you, the latest release from Shock-O-Rama Cinema, Shock-O-Rama. The 3rd film in what one might call the Brett Piper Trilogy, this film is Brett’s most ambitious to date. Shock-O-Rama is a Tales from the Cryptesque film that centers around Rebecca Raven,(Misty Mundae), a horror actress who had just been released from the company which made her famous. The executives that fired her , had a successor ready to move in , but that girl wound up in a bit of trouble , so the two executives now have to scramble to find a star for their next opus. The two are played by Michael Thomas and Dave Fine, who’s back and forth banter and insults are hysterical. When the two are pouring through screeners to find their next star, Thomas remarks how he hates movies and Fine replies, “It shows”. The first film, Mechaniod, is about two intergalactic alien criminals who crash land in Jed Callahan’s junk yard. Callahan , played by Rob Monkiewizc, is being hounded by creditors and his girlfriend Linda( Caitlin Ross). Linda decides to show up as Jed is having a shoot out, pitting his pistol against the alien’s ray guns. The aliens build a robot out of the junked wrecks and it emerges from the junkyard in a real cool show of stop motion effects. Things look grin indeed until the Intergalactic Police arrive and take charge of the situation. Meanwhile Rebecca has decide to spend some time in a country house. After a little trickle of blood awakens the resident zombie and he is not happy about his unwanted house guest. Rebecca must pit all her horror film wits against the undead creature . It’s reality meets unreality as Rebecca searches through cliche after cliche to destroy her blood thirsty stalker. In None But the Brain ,Dr Carruthers(Julian Wells) is conducting dream experiments on a bunch of scantily clad subjects . When one of the girls dies during a sexually charged, gory dream sequence, Naomi( A.J. Khan) starts to think there is more to the Doctor than meets the eye. She finds a horrible secret. The Doctor is a virtual slave to a huge, living brain who is in search of pleasure. The Doctor feels just what the brain does and goes berserk when Naomi tries to kill it . Rebecca shows up at her old producer’s office for a little confrontation with the guys who fired her. I’m gonna leave it right here. If you want to find out how it plays out, see it yourself. I saw this film at the Fango Weekend of Horrors last September and at the Pioneer Theater in NY , where it had it’s world premier. Both places were packed and the film got a great reaction . Brett Piper is one of those film makers who doesn’t use CG effects. He does it the old fashioned way with stop motion, miniatures, and make up effects. And it all looks great on the big screen as opposed to some recent crap that I had to force myself to sit through. I’ll say this, then perhaps you should read my editorial. The best way to see Shock-O-Rama is in a theater with a group of true horror fans. People jumped in the right places, they chuckled in the right places, and they squirmed in the right places. Twenty years ago Shock-O- Rama would have played to SRO crowds in theaters like the Liberty, The Lyric, or the Rialto, right on the “Deuce”. Kudos to Piper and Shock-O-Rama Cinema for creating a classic with its root firmly planted in the grindhouse culture. Every once in a while I see something that makes me stand up and take notice. First it was Acid Bath, which I covered a little while ago, check out the archives, which was outstanding.

 

PERVERT!

I just got a film from an outfit called Stag Films called Pervert! Feeling that this could be an autobiographical rip off of yours truly, hey I am what I am, I was really shocked when I saw this film. Shocked in a good way that is. A lot of film maker claim to capture the essence of a film maker who is no longer with us. This filmed claimed to be a homage to the late, great Russ Meyer. It is. Some where Russ is looking down and smiling, because this film succeeds on so many levels. Pervert! The Movie Directed by Jonathan Yudis and written by Mike Davis is a true homage to the man who brought big tits to the big screen. This film is a lot different than most because it was actually shot on film and it was shot at the same ranch where the immortal classic, Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill! Was filmed. The film is loaded with quirky characters ala Russ. A weird old man who makes sculptures out of raw meat, a rough trade gay mechanic, an unseen killer, and a parade of heavy hootered honeys. It also has pop up scenes of topless women dancing on the desert sands, and has a bunch of scenes that will have you laughing you ass off. Pervert opens with young James( Sean Andrews) driving down a desert highway. He picks up a hitchhiker (Tula), who opens his glove box and an avalanche of stroke books falls out followed by a pair of rubber lips. Tula calls him a pervert and bails out of the car. James throws his stash out and a mangy dog makes off with the jizz encrusted lips. James is out to reconcile with his father, Hezekiah, who lives on a desert ranch. James is out here to learn the manly art of being a man. Whatever the fuck that means. Dad (Darrell Sandeen) has a real hot wife, the formidable Mary Carey, who is smokin’ hot here. Channeling Candy Samples and Ushi Digart, the former porn star and candidate for the governor of California, just set the screen on fire with her antics involving pouring honey and jam over her massive mamaries. She has the hots for James, but then after a heated argument with Hezekiah in the middle of the night, she disappears. James suspects the worst , especially when the grieving Hezekiah show up with a “new whore” who is a real ball breaker. James checks out the meat sculpture studio. He finds nothing until Mary staggers in and drops dead. James goes back to the house and find the other woman dead after she has had sex with this unseen killer. Suspecting that his Dad is the killer, James and another girl handcuff Dad to a headboard to keep him out of trouble until they can sort things out. Things go to black and white when you get the killer’s POV. Hezekiah has a visitor while he’s tried up and here’s where the film goes completely over the top. It seems that James went to a witch doctor to have a ritual performed to increase his sexual potency. There, as in every black magic ritual, was a trade off for this “blessing” which has manifested itself in the form of this unseen killer. I’ll stop here because this is the payoff that will have you rolling on the floor in stitches.  This is one film you have to see. This is also one of the reasons that I want to resurrect a grindhouse. Films like this deserve to be seen on the big screen. Stag Films next venture, I’m told, will be a biker flick. I’m curious to see how this will pan out. Russ Meyer fans will love Pervert! And I think Russ himself would appreciate this homage to his legacy.

 

More DVD Goodness

Stuff comes out on DVD so fast lately that it’s hard sometime to keep up things. Anyhow, I’ve caught a lot of stuff in the last couple of weeks and here’s my humble opinion of a few things. Day the World Ended/ The She Creature the Sam Arkoff Collection Released by Lion’s Gate The AIP stuff has been available all over the world except here. Now it looks like Lion’s Gate is now releasing the stuff as double features. I picked up the Arkoff Box Set in PAL format and these discs had a lot more going for them than this double feature does. At least it included trailers. For some reason The Day the World Ended is in the letterbox format which doesn’t really look that good. The She Creature is full screen. The Day the World Ended scared the piss out of me when I first saw it years ago on Channel 7's Big Show at 4;30 in the afternoon. It was the 60's and the threat of nuclear annihilation was present on a daily basis. Remember the Cuban Missel Crisis? Anyway this is TD-Day , total destruction by nuclear weapons. Seven survivors are in a remote valley and are stalked by flesh eating mutants. The cast is a who’s who of actors who became AIP regulars. Richard Denning, Paul Dubov, Raymond Hattan, Paul Birch, Lori Nelson, Jonathan Haze, and Mike Connors. The real “star” of both of these films is Paul Blaisdell who created and played both the Mutant and the She Creature. Blaisdell created some of the most memorable movie monsters of the 50's. It Conquered the World, Voodoo Woman, Invasion of the Saucer Men all featured his unique creations. Blaisdell also had some of the worst luck of any artist that I have ever read about. His paydays were lousy. He was badly burned on the set of Voodoo Woman. His magazine, Fantastic Monsters and all of its assets were destroyed in a mysterious fire. And his dedication to his craft may have cause his premature demise. Working with all these chemicals may have caused him to get cancer and he died just before his work was discovered by a new legion of fans. Someone should do a movie on him. Watch these films and see how amazing these creations of his were. They were done with very little money , but with a lot of heart and soul . They were scary back then, they are still unique today.

 

Razor Blade Smile

Razor Blade Smile Anchor Bay 2005 Starring Eileen Daly, Directed by Jake West I had heard some good things about this film and they were all true. I just put my feet up and enjoyed this tale of a vampire hit woman. Lilith Silver should have died in the 1800's but was given eternal life as a vampire. Lilith makes a point of dispelling some vampire myths during the course of the movie. She is a hit woman who’s target is the “Illuminat” a sect that has power through supernatural and technological innovations. This is a game of cat and mouse , with a lot of twists and turns that will keep you guessing until the very end. There’s a cool lesbian vampire scene that gets pretty bloody. This is one worth checking out.

 

Medium Cool

Medium Cool Paramount 1969 starring Robert Forester, Verna Bloom, Peter Bonerz, and Marianna Hill. Directed by Haskell Wexler I was still going to Kiddee Matinees when I was 16 because they were still showing a lot of horror flicks. By then I had discovered alcohol and ways to get it, so relaxing in the back row with a bottle of Ripple on a Saturday afternoon was a given. The Embassy Theater went right into its regular programing after the matinee. I was such a regular at that point , so I was never chased out. This is how I saw Medium Cool. If you want to know how fucked up things were back then, check this movie out. Shot by former cinematographer Wexler against the backdrop of the Democratic National Convention in Chicago, it paints a powerful picture of race relations, police brutality, and a media that was in cahoots with the law. Aside from the statement that this picture is trying to make, its filled with some quirky things. Look for brief appearances by Peter Boyle and Angelo Rossito. The music is by The Mothers of Invention and Love. The assistant to the producer was Jonathan Haze. An interesting time capsule of for those of us who experienced these things first hand.

 

A Man Called Sledge

A Man Called Sledge 1969 Starring James Garner, Dennis Weaver, Claude Atkins, and John Marley Co written and directed by Vic Morrow This is one of those cases where I wonder what a person could have accomplished had he not checked out so soon. Vic Morrow was killed while trying to save two children on the set of the Twilight Zone Movie. Though I had heard of this movie ,I just figured that it was another spaghetti western using some anglo names to make it more marketable. Then I caught it on the Encore Western channel. It is a true spaghetti western. Usually James Garner brings a little bit of humor to his roles. Not here. He’s deadly serious as Luther Sledge, a man out to rob a cache of gold hidden in a prison fortress. Morrow’s western is full of symbolism and striking visuals. You would swear that this was directed by Corbucci or one of the other greats. The cast is excellent , especially Marley as the old man who’s cell was next to the vault of gold. He claims that he can remember the combination to the vault by the clicks because he was incarcerated there for so long. Marley’s greed gets under Sledge’s skin big time. When he kills a man during a poker game with the stolen gold, Sledge tells him to keep dealing because he’s now in the game and is going to break him. Sledge winds up winning all the gold and the gang is none too thrilled about this. Marley instigates the kidnaping of Sledge’s woman . The woman for the gold. Of course things go terribly wrong and Sledge finds out that certain things mean a lot more than gold. This is one powerful movie and it’s also an anomaly, a Euro Western directed by an American. The only other film that fits into this category is Monte Hellman’s China 9, Liberty 37. Morrow showed great promise as a director and that makes his untimely death all the more tragic.

 

Midnight Blue DVD

The Midnight Blue Collection from Blue Underground In 1968 Al Goldstein created Screw , a sort of guide to commercial sex establishments in NYC. Screw told it like it was. If an establishment didn’t meet Screw’s admittedly low standards, Al told us about it . From low rent massage parlors to high end “leisure spas” Screw covered it all. Book Stores, Peepshows, Live Sex Shoes, Swing Clubs, Movies, Gay Baths, Tanny Hookers, Screw was the yardstick that we, the smut consumer, used to find the best and worst that the city had to offer. Al Goldstein to the bullet for all of us. He was busted numerous times and at one point trashed Shock Jock, Howard Stern, buy saying if you haven’t been busted for free speech, you aint shit . Al created Midnight Blue, cable show that was as over the top as Screw. There were classic moments on this show. I was hanging out in the Harmony Burlesque on night, when in came Al with the Midnight Blue camera crew. Most of the”‘popeyes” pulled their hats over their faces and ran out. Me, I just waved at the camera and enjoyed the show. Screw folded in 2003. Al was fighting law suit after law suit and everything went to shit. Al would up homeless and was living in a shelter. A lot of people didn’t like al for various reasons. Al was always cool with me and we always had some interesting conversations. When the Javits Center inadvertently booked a sex show, the mayor was enraged, and said it would be a sleazy event. I was there, working for NYC Liquidators. It was a classy event with a lot of cool people. When I brought up the “sleaze factor” to Al, he said “Fuck Guliani “ this is a class act”. “The only thing sleazy here is me. And you!!”. Truer words were never spoken. Blue Under Ground picked up the 3/4 inch master tapes from the Midnight Blue Show. So far they have put out five volumes. This stuff truly captures the sexual ambiance of NYC in the 70's. Volume # 1 is about Deep Throat and has interviews with Gerry Damiano, Harry Reams and Carol Conners Volume # 2 is Porn Stars of the 70's and features appearances by Marilyn Chambers, Georgina Spelvin , Annie Sprinkle, Veri Knotty, Seka, Jennifer Wells, Marc Stevens, Jamie Gillis, and Carter Stevens Volume # 3 is The Celebrities Edition. It has the Rob Lowe sex tape, OJ Simpson at the 1979 Hookers Ball, R. Crumb , Russ Meyer, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penn &Teller , Tiny Tim, Buck Henry , and a lot more. Some of this shit is hysterical. Volume # 4 is Freaks and Geeks featuring some real twisted shit like, Mistresses , S&M dungeons, A whore house for dogs, a world’s record (at the time) 83 man gang bang at Plato’s Retreat, An Annie Sprinkle performance with a shark in a bath tub and more. Volume # 5 Porn King is by film maker James Guardino who takes us down the impulsive , self destructive downward spiral that was Al Goldstein’s life. It has segments with Larry Flynt, Ron Jeremy, ans Al Lewis. It also has the last days of Midnight Blue as an extra. Kudos to Blue Underground for rescuing these grubby gems before time and the elements rendered them unwatchable. All of these have the original Midnight Blue ads for the sex trade back then. If you want to really see first hand what went on and how much better it was back then , you have to pick these up. On a personal note, I would like to wish Al Goldstein well. There are so few of us left from that time period and it’s a shame to see what happened to Al. Love him or hate him, he spoke his mind and took the busts to prove a point. Thanks to him and Screw , I was directed to the best and hottest places in the sexual underground.

 

The Antichrist 1974  -

Starring Carla Gravina, Arthur Kennedy, Mel Ferrer, and George Couloris Directed by Alberto De Martino

Released here on the old Avco Embassy Home Video label as the Tempter. This version is uncut and restores the goats ass rimming scene, a selling point if there ever was one. Gravina is placed under hypnosis and becomes a perverse seductress chosen by Satan to give birth to the Antichrist.

 Of all the Exorcist ripoffs, this film rises to the top or sinks to the bottom , depending on your point of view. Arthur Kennedy keeps his Euro trash roots alive as he chews the scenery as a priest who helps perform an exorcism. A must for all Exorcist ripoff completests.. Joe D’Amato was the director of photography.

The Host -

Starring a lot of Koreans and a big monster. Released by Bonzi Home Video.

I had seen ads for this Korean Monster movie and had heard great things about it. I was shocked to find this for only 9.95 in a local video store. I checked it out and was surprised at how cool the monster was. It didn’t look like your cheap out CG monster. The plot concerns a bunch of chemicals dumped into the Han river and the man eating monster created by them.

It a crazy film with the monster attacking crowds gathered at the river for some kind of event. Even if you hate subtitles, give this one a shot, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

Hardcore 1979  -

Starring George C Scott, Peter Boyle, and Season Hubley. Directed by Paul Schrader. A Columbia Pictures DVD

Before 8mm . We had this rather intense look at the world of porn, snuff films in particular. George C Scott is a dad trying to find his runaway daughter, Peter Boyle is the shady PI who he hires, and Season Hubley plays a hooker who helps him. This was made a few years after snuff films were deemed an “urban legend”. Legend my ass, unfortunately I saw one in a peepshow at a place called Crossroad Books on Broadway in the early 70's. If you doubt their existence, pick up a book called Gods of Death.

Anyway you get a rather grim trip into what was perceived as the world of porn back then . Season gives a standout performance in her role as a heart of gold hooker. Why she never got better roles is a mystery to me.

Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell 1974  -

Starring Peter Cushing. Shane Briant, and David Prowse. Directed by Terence Fisher A Paramount DVD

The last and the weakest entry in the Hammer Frankenstein series. The good Doctor has cheated the hangman again and is now operating out of a prison for the criminally insane. When a disciple is sentenced there for his experiments, the doctor has an apprentice to help him in his work. The good doctor’s hands were crippled in a previous film. The monster has the brain of a killer who uses broken glass as a weapon. Not all that bad, but several notches below previous entries in this series.

Snake Dancer aka Glenda 1976 -

Starring Glenda Kemp, Peter Elliot, and Wilson Dunster. Directed by Dirk de Villiers a Mondo Macbro Release.

Very obscure film about Glenda Kemp, the notorious Snake Dancer from South Africa. This is a true story of a woman who defied her repressive government and fought for the right to dance naked. The film shows the incredible dance numbers she did and chronicles her fight to keep doing what she loves. Despite the hokey ending, this is an interesting film, made even more so when you discover that Glenda was a very religious woman.

Ruby 1977 -

Starring Piper Laurie, Stuart Whitman and Janet Baldwin Directed by Curtis Harrington DVD by VCI Entertainment

Piper was fresh off her outing as Carrie’s demented mom. Here she plays the widow of a slain mobster in Florida. She is now running a drive in staffed with the people who murdered her husband. Her daughter(Baldwin) is a deaf mute and is possessed by the spirit of her father.

There are some inventive drive in related deaths as the projectionist is hung by a roll of film. Another guy (Len Lesser) is crammed into a soda machine and one guy is impaled by a speaker post. Harrington had previously directed the eerie Night Tide with Dennis Hopper.

The Hellbenders 1967 -

Starring Joseph Cotton, Norma Bengell, anf Julian Mateos. Directed by Sergio Corbucci DVD by Anchor Bay

Prior to the classic Django and The Great Silence, Corbucci directed this post Civil War western. Cotton stars as the demented head of a family of Confederate soldiers determined to restart the war. They ambush and massacre a Union convoy carrying cash and stash it in a coffin.

Using a woman to pose as the dead wife of one of his sons, Cotton and company slaughter their way back home. This DVD has a lot more violence than the old Avco Embassy VHS tape. Aka The Cruel Ones, this has Corbucci’s trade mark down beat ending. Music by Ennio Morricone and produced by Albert Band. Cotton returned in Corbucci’s The Tramplers.

Attack Force Z -

Starring John Phillip Law, Mel Gibson, Sam Neil, and John Waters Directed by Tim Burstall DVD by Image

In the early days of HBO this film ran constantly , then it disappeared. Now Image has finally put it out. A team of multi national soldiers do some behind the lines mischief to the Japanese during WWII. Falling star John Phillip Law is the lead, but is upstaged by up and comers Gibson and Neil.

This is a good action film loaded with shoot outs and violence. The mission goes wrong as most of the good guys are wasted in the climatic battle. If you like war films, check this one out.

The Valachi Papers 1972 -

Starring Charles Bronson, Jill Ireland, and Joseph Wiseman Directed by Terrence Young DVD by Columbia

This film was shot at the height of Bronson’s popularity and isn’t your typical gangster shoot ‘em up. It’s a pretty close to the facts story of mob informer Joe Valachi.. This chronicles  Valachi’s rise in the mob as a “button man” to his 15 year sentence in prison. Learning that Vito Genovese had put a contract on him. Valachi turns informant to keep alive.

Bronson, who a lot of critics said couldn’t act, turns a stellar performance. Based on Peter Maas’s book the Valachi Papers, we get an look at the inner working of the mob back then. This film played both on the grindhouse circuit and the Drive Ins after its initial release.

Lizard in a Woman’s Skin   -

Starring Florinda Bolkan, Stanley Baker, and Jean Sorel Directed by Lucio Fulci DVD by Shriek Show

Let’s see the first time this was  released , it was a two disc set because they had to use a PAL transfer to get the “uncut “ version. Now, after fans pissed their money away on the first one, the come up with and uncut, widescreen print.

Companies that do this piss me off and this isn’t the first time Shriek Show has fucked up. Called “the greatest giallo ever produced” , this version has the vivisected dog footage that got Fulci a lot of heat. It is a good film, but I would be hard pressed to say it was the greatest gaillo ever made. Bolkan is great in the lead and the killing are sufficiently brutal, ala Fulci. It just sucks that the company had to release an inferior version of the film first, then come up with a better one later.

Club Satan, The Witches Sabbath -

Starring Paris Gables and Matt Zane Directed by Shane Bugbee DVD by Extreme Associates

Want a porn film that really pushes the envelope? Look no further. This is one sick , deranged fuckin’ movie that harkens back to the hey day of Avon films in NY. Paris Gables give a one woman self abuse show that will have your jaw drop. If your even slightly religious, stay far away as this film just blasphemes any notion of religion. The black mas is supposed to be real, but since I haven’t been invited to one, I can’t say if it is or isn’t. We don’t have black masses in my neighborhood, just drive bys and car jackings.

Completely sadistic and depraved, it is anything but dull. This is one of those films that will mark you for life. Phil Prince would have loved this. You have been warned.

 

 

 

 

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